Pregnancy, Week 15...

This past week has been quite the adventure! While I was able to let a lot of my anxiety about this pregnancy fade away after our 10 week appointment where we saw our little gummy bear dancing away, and then again with the great results from our genetic testing, I was feeling pretty good. However, this past weekend the anxiety crept back in. Right now my body is really starting to stretch and grow, and on Friday all these pains, stretches, jolts etc. were super active, so I called my OB’s nurse line and talked with Joyce (so sweet!) to make sure everything I was experiencing was normal. She suspected it was round ligament pain, but to call in again if it got worse. That night the discomfort got worse. It felt very characteristic of an ovarian cyst (which I’ve had my fair share of, thank you PCOS). My lower left hand side was super tender and when I moved, coughed, sneezed, and it was hard for me to get comfortable. Things stayed pretty active that night, so I took a Unisom to calm my nerves and try to get some rest. On Saturday morning I called the OB on-call and shared this with her. She said that unless I was experiencing nausea and vomiting, or that the pain got much worse, then I don’t need to go to the ER or urgent care – but could come in on Monday to hear the heartbeat for reassurance.

As the weekend progressed my anxiety continued to worsen. I’ve seen so many heartbreaking stories lately of women losing pregnancies around the 20 week mark and it’s scaring me that the same will happen to us. That growing fear plus I had these new aches and pains… and then I went down a rabbit hole and started comparing my bump to others, and just felt overwhelmed by everything.  So on Monday morning my husband and I went in to hear little baby boy’s heartbeat. It took Joyce about 30 seconds to find it and it felt like forever, but there it was, beating away at 139 bpm – a heartbeat that indicates the baby is doing well and not under stress. I cried a few happy tears of joy.  During our infertility journey, it felt like we’d never get to this point, at times this pregnancy just feels too good to be true. So glad baby is still in there growing away!

Joyce suggested that we get an ultrasound to just make sure that everything was ok, and to take a peek at what was going on. They were all booked at my OB, but referred me to another office in the building. They made me come with a full bladder, and I don’t think I’ve ever had to pee so bad in my entire life! When he started pressing on my tummy with the ultrasound probe I thought it was all over. Haha. Luckily, they only needed my full bladder for a part of the ultrasound and I was able to go to the bathroom before the in depth scan of baby. We got to see our sweet little guy for a good 10-15 minutes while he took a bunch of measurements. Baby was being shy and didn’t want us to see his cute little profile, but he was moving all around, and he caught up by two days! We were tracking about 1 day behind our whole pregnancy, and now we’re one day ahead. Yay!

I love being pregnant, and growing this little guy in my tummy. It is what I’ve been dreaming about since the day I say “I do”. However, after losing two pregnancies, I think that it makes you much more guarded and anxious, making this whole experience a little stressful at times. Hopefully after our anatomy scan in September, followed by our echocardiogram, I will feel a greater sense of peace and joy for the remainder of my pregnancy. Ultimately, I know it is all in God’s hands and I need to give it over to him, because I really have no control over any of this.  Easier said than done at times with my type A personality. ;)  Thanks for reading and following along!

The pic above is from our private ultrasound at 14w3d, Love this little guy so much! I can’t wait to meet him this winter. Th below bumpdate was created with the BabyPics App.