Making Amends...

Have you ever felt a strong nudge or "gut feel" to do something? When that happens, I believe it's the Holy Spirit working within us, and amazing things can happen when you listen, even if you're scared. God will be with you and bless you along the way.  I had a really incredible experience of this recently that I wanted to share, hoping that it may inspire someone to make amends or to act on something the Spirit has been pushing you to do. 

Back in December before the holidays, I had a very strong feeling that I should reach out to an old friend from college, whom I had had a falling out with. I think it had been 11 years since we had a fight that ended up spiraling into a full on falling out. I have felt so guilty about it ever since I graduated. This nudge to reach out to her has come and gone over the years, but for some reason it came on really strong in the fall and then when Christmastime came around, I finally had the courage to act. It's scary to admit your wrongdoings (even if only to yourself), put your tail between your legs and ask for forgiveness, especially when it's been so long.  I honestly can't even remember why we had a falling out, but I know that I said and did hurtful things, and I'm not proud of them. I am truly remorseful and regret those things, and unfortunately, I cannot take them back. I wanted to sincerely apologize to her and hoped that she would forgive me for acting the way that I did. I sure wasn't my best self back in those days, and am very grateful that I've had the opportunity to make many positive changes in my life since then, and credit those to my faith & husband.

After lots of prayer, I finally mustered up the courage to write her an email.  It was short and sweet and from the heart, and I meant every word I said. When I hit send, it was scary... what if she doesn't respond? What if she doesn't have the same desire to make amends? It was one of those moments where you just hope that you get a message back soon, and to my surprise, I did. I was nervous to read it, but to my delight it was a warm reply, and we exchanged a few notes back and forth, and we even set up a lunch for the next month. 

When we met for lunch, it was honestly so wonderful to see her. We caught up over a long lunch and it was so nice to hear about everything she's been up to and where her life has taken her.  In the midst of our lunch she shared some personal news with me, something I was able to relate to her on, on a deep and intimate level, and it truly felt like this is why God has brought us back together again. It was so wonderful to leave that lunch and see how God is constantly at work in our lives. 

It was a powerful experience for me to go through - admitting how ugly some of the things I did were, to ask for forgiveness and then to make amends.  It wasn't pleasant to admit these things or relive them, but it was a situation that was and has been heavy on my heart and I needed to go through this process to try and find resolution and healing. And He provided that in a powerful way, greater than I ever expected.  I'm so grateful for the rekindling of this relationship and for this experience. Praise be to God!

I never intended to blog about this, but it was such a powerful experience for me, I felt compelled to share it. 

What is the Holy Spirit pushing you to do?  Are you listening? How will you respond? I'd encourage you to listen to the Spirit, even when it may seem tough or hard. He will be with you along the way.